Updated: Jul 31, 2019
I think it's a part of getting older, or maybe realizing your own worth, or maybe even just a decision not to put up with the drama anymore, whatever the reason I made a very clear decision that I was putting an end to it.
Putting an end to trying to please, putting an end to not expressing myself, putting an end to being a part of gossip and drama and finally putting an end to not having boundaries. You see, I learned through some very hard experiences that you cannot please everyone. That there will always be people who take your word and twist it, who will put their own spin on things, or who don't even have the whole story or information. Isn't that what gossip and rumors are really all about? People banning together over a 'cause' to make someone the outcast, someone the target, someone the 'bad' person.
This happens in business and personal lives all too often, and I have seen my fair share of people taken down emotionally, mentally and physically after being the target or focus of gossip and rumors. I know, it happened to me, on several occasions. My belief is that people expected me to put up more of a fight, or to strike back or try and justify or explain myself, but that isn't what feels right to me. Sure, it is hard to walk around knowing, or at least believing to know, that people are talking about you, but it is even harder to lower yourself to the pettiness of those same people and explain your life away. The only one who needs to know the truth about anything you do in your life is you and your creator, whoever you believe that to be. For as long as mankind has existed, things have been taken out of context, people have lied, exaggerated the truth, they have even started wars because of idle hands having no purpose but to stir the pot.
Remember high school? Wow, what a toxic soup of gossip and rumors! It all felt so important to have everyone like us, for no one to talk about us, and when they did the opposite of what we wanted, it was earth shattering! The whispers behind our back were like knives cutting through our heart, and if felt horrible. You probably wanted to run far away, to make it all stop, to cry, I am sure you cried, I know I did. But you survived. Here you are, and the crazy thing about it is none of it really mattered in the scheme of our life. I know it has a lasting affect, usually one we are dealing with for years to come, but looking back at those times, they really had no significance to the lives we have now...and I guess that's my point. If you were called freckle face in grade 8, it may have felt like the world was ending, now, you laugh as your partner adores those very same freckles.
Part of self love and personal growth is being okay with removing yourself from these situations, taking a temporary loss of social esteem to put those boundaries in place no matter the cost of being the subject that people like to talk about.
Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to agree with you, and it is certainly true that the only one who will ever love you as much as you love others, is you. Love yourself enough to know that what others say is not of importance, what is is what you say to yourself.
~ Monika xo