Breast Explant Update, 10 Months!
I figured it was about time that I update you on how life is going since I had my Breast Implant Explant done November 7, 2018! What a journey it has been, and I can honestly say that it has been an easy one!
Looking back over the last 10 months I don't recall a time that I have missed my former large breasted self. I know, crazy right?! In fact, it has all been smooth sailing right from the moment I was out of surgery. I didn't even need pain medication AT ALL, because there was no pain!, ( I must be a freak, surgery with no pain, don't ask because I can't explain that one!) right to my recovery and back into normal life. I never thought of myself as missing something, or that I was less-than for not being large breasted anymore.
However, how others treat you is interesting! I have noticed in the gym specifically, women, their mental categorizing and how they view 'competition' has been an experience! Prior to my explant, all of the large breasted women would eye me up (as did the men lol), puff their feathers a bit and do the cold shoulder thing as they walked by. Now, in contrast, the small breasted women almost shrank, as if they felt inferior in some way (was not a good feeling for me I can say), and didn't make eye contact. What is interesting now is the shift in perspective, the large breasted women don't even know I exist any more (apparently not in their competition/league?!) and the small breasted women are much warmer and will actually look at me and I get the sense that they are comfortable in my presence now. It is a strange world we live in, and I find it all so fascinating! Oh, and in case you are wondering, no, the dude's at the gym that used to stare don't anymore, however I do catch the long timers having more of a 'wonder what happened' look when they notice me for the first time! I think many people assume I had breast cancer, which is probably why they mostly avoid me...another interesting observation!
Shopping for clothes is a different experience, it is super hard to find shirts that fit, opposed to when I had larger breasts (who knew!) so I've managed to avoid that this summer and worn my overly large tops from prior to surgery lol! Don't judge, you know as well as I do shopping for clothes can be draining! Ummm...like trying on jeans or bathing suits, you know it girl!!
The biggest change I have noticed is the fact that I don't feel any less confident then I did before...perhaps I feel even a little More confident. Probably because of 3 things, first, I think I have what is called Phantom limb, or in this case, Phantom Boobs lol I honestly still feel the same, I don't feel small or flat, I feel large and proud! So, I carry myself as if I was. Second, I used to cover up a lot more, hide my chest and wear certain clothing in certain situations as to not draw attention...ironic isn't it? And I guess the 3rd thing is, I have worked on my confidence and self worth through my profession. All of the skills I have learned along the way learning about who I am, my value, my contribution and what really matters in life, that I just don't place my breast size in a category of importance. It doesn't define me, and I love who I am with or without them. My health has Always been the most important thing to me, and it always will be, and at the root of it all, that is all that matters.
So, for those ladies out there who are stuck on getting implants, wearing padded bras, feeling the need to show your cleavage to the world to gain attention or acceptance, let me say this to you: You attract the kind of people into your life that equal the depth of your self worth and self love. Raise your personal value and worth, raise your standards of what you define as beauty, elevate your tribe to one of deep connection and love, and you will find there is much more happiness, fulfillment, peace and joy in that then any physical change will ever give you. I've lived both sides of the fence, 27 years as a large breasted woman, and less than a year as a small one, and I can honestly say, I love the last 10 months more then the previous 27 years.
~ Monika xo