Feeling Unheard or Not Valued?
Updated: Jul 30, 2019
Feeling unheard, not respected, valued or appreciated of your thoughts or beliefs? In this world of ultra-sensitivity, political correctness, and having to take everyone's feelings into consideration it can not only be overwhelming, but almost impossible to be your authentic self without someone having something to say about it. It can be a text, email or phone call that just wasn't returned, the date that stood you up, the friend that keeps canceling on plans with you. Whatever the method, don't fret. Not everyone is going to like you! Or for that matter, agree with you, understand you or respect you! So before you sit in a pit of despair wondering what it was that you did wrong, and how can you change yourself to be more likeable, the reality is, you are PERFECT the way you are.
People are people, and everyone is coming at life from different experiences, different influences, and different value systems. What I have learned over my life is, that speaking your truth, living life authentic to you is just about the greatest gift you can not only give yourself, but everyone around you. Once you have decided what your core values are, your ultimate truth, live by and through that with conviction.
One of my strongest values is loyalty, and it is so incredibly important to me! My closest friends know, if you are a friend and you don't support me through thick and thin, well, you don't fit into my value system and therefore the chances of us being friends for life are pretty slim. I'm not right, and I'm not wrong, it's just my value system. It's what makes me tick, what makes everything in my world right, it's how I live my truth, my authentic self, and no one can change that, ever. Have you taken the time to write out what your value's are? What are the top things that you are unwilling to settle on? Perhaps it's loyalty, trust, honesty, faith, kindness, fun, health? Take some time to think about these things as you read this post. A lot of people fall into the trap of thinking that they need to change, or become people pleasers when someone gets upset. Rather then changing who you are, what you stand for, and what is in alignment to you living your authentic self, ask yourself if this person having judgement over you, ignoring you, or making you feel less than, is life changing? Will your world crash down because of it? What if you stopped and considered that your opinion, values, desires, wants, happiness, peace are equally as important as theirs? And in fact, when we place ourselves on an equal playing field to those whom we thought were more valuable then ourselves, it changes everything doesn't it! We are meant to be happy, that is the bottom line, and our society has us believing that we have to live up to these expectations that are often subtle and lay beneath the noise, however, they are also not so subtle, like what we see on social media in all shapes, sizes and forms. The expectation meter is so high that most people walk around feeling like they will never measure up! They don't have the right body, the right hair, the right job, the right spouse, the right house, car, career, kids and on and on. Here is your permission to let it all go. YOU is all that matters! Opinions, judgements and people who just don't 'get you' can take a hike! It is your job to live your authentic self, cellulite and all! To be brave enough to eliminate those from your life who rub you the wrong way, to quit the job you don't like when everyone else thinks you have it so good, to end the relationship that look good on the outside but is chaos on the inside, to choose respectful relationships in both work and personal, to have that cake and eat it to! Do it! Go for it! Take that plunge and rid yourself of the pressure to be liked for everything that has NOTHING to do with YOU! You will never make everyone happy, and you're not supposed to...you are meant to make YOU Happy! ~ Monika xo