Updated: Jul 30, 2019
I woke up this morning after a very sleepless night feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety, frustration and anger towards someone who I found out was maliciously hurting another person. My instinct was to get in my car and drive, drive and do something about it...and I have to admit, that 'something' wouldn't end well.
Soooo instead of writing to you from a jail cell, I opted for the wiser, more sophisticated version of getting my feelings out, and in hopes that this may help you as well.
Here's the thing. We can't control others. Nor should we try. There are consequences for every action, whether they are immediate, or in the future, but they are coming. One can take some comfort in knowing the laws of the universe work like this, and no bad deed is ever un-noticed. And the person who has done the harm will no doubt pay in spades inside their mind soon enough. Now, having said that, it doesn't exactly help in the moment, the present moment, when let's face it, you would get immense joy in seeing that person stuck in a vat of honey next to a bee hive...and wasps...with a bear close by...Okay, I digress…
Well then, what to do about these emotions that are boiling over inside?
First, take a deep breath. Breathing is essential...right? When we are full of anxiety we tend to 'shallow' breath, kind of like hyper-ventilating, our brain doesn't get the oxygen it needs, which leads to ill-thought out actions that may lead you to a jail cell...or a vat of honey!
Second, what the 'victim' in any circumstance needs the most is support, love, and positive vibes. We all know that energy is contagious, so don't you think that you're freaking out and adding to the mix will only take that whirling pot of anger even bigger? Take it down a notch and think "how can I best serve this person, and what do they need the most?"
Understanding, yes, compassion, yes, freaking out, spazzing and making them more distraught? Nope. They need a calm person in the midst of chaos, someone to talk them down off the edge of insanity, someone to bring some normalcy back into their day. You can be sympathetic, tell them how awful their situation is, be there for them when they need you, but don't allow yourself to get drawn into the drama of the situation. You are doing them a bigger favor, and yourself, by being the calm sounding board in a situation that isn't so calm. Your energy will help them to feel a sense of safety, a place to go when they are feeling helpless, hurt, and betrayed.
When in doubt, always take the path that is of benefit to all...anger can morph into a monster that ends in heartache for all, and what every situation needs is an outlet for the anger to pass through and land on a soft, pillowy green field where one can take a deep breath and take hold of themselves again. Hurting another for the fun of it, malicious intent, or down right self-absorbed narcissistic behaviour is about as low as one can get...so reach up high, let the love shine and know that all good energy is rewarded in spades; sometimes letting the paddle slip away to save the boat is the best thing we can do, for ourselves and those who needs us.
~ Monika xo