Where did that Cellulite come from?!
Updated: Aug 6, 2019
I went bathing suit shopping the other day, which would have to be the thing I hate the most besides shopping for jeans. The excitement walking into a store and seeing all of the amazing colours of bikini's, the variety of tops and bottoms, visualizing how absolutely hot I was going to look in all of them. Grabbing a dozen different colors and styles I head into the changing room excited to see what a goddess I am going to look like. And then it happened, the reality of top down lighting.
WHY on God's earth do they have top down white lighting that highlights the canyons, crevasses and pits on ones body when they are trying on bathing suits?! I mean, isn't this the most self conscious piece of clothing that you wear in public that one could possibly purchase?! I looked at myself in the mirror dissecting every flaw, from every angle, for so long that the woman who worked in the store asked me if I was okay! I felt like yelling back "No, I'm not okay, I look like I had the moon land on my body, and it's serving a variety of hard cheeses, and I have no idea how I got so old, and my hair, gawd it's so dry and grey, and I had no idea I had that many wrinkles on my face...on my arms!" But I didn't. I am certain she would have called security if I had, so I just shouted back, "I'm great! Just deciding which one!". Ugh.
I did leave with 2 bathing suits in case you are wondering, but only after I sat myself down on the little chair that was piled with tossed bathing suits and a beaten self-esteem. I reflected back on how far I have come with my health, how I am always telling others that our outward appearance does not define our worth, how getting older happens to everyone and I did promise myself I would do it gracefully without dermatologist help, and I was super happy with my level of fitness and strength and that when it came down to it I loved who I was. So, I picked the 2 bikini's that I loved, not because they made me look the best, but because I genuinely loved them.
While driving home I realized how hard I was on myself, how after years of self-development, being a Personal Fitness Trainer, Coaching Women on how to love who they are, it still affected me. I think part of the issue is the subliminal messages we are sent on a daily basis that we don't realize do affect how we perceive ourselves, like walking into the store, the posters plastered on the walls of hot looking 20 something women in bikini's that clearly have been photo-shopped to give them long lean legs, abs, soft skin and large breasts..it leaves it's imprint on one without them even knowing it. It needs to stop. And the only person that can make the self deprecating stop is ourselves.
I do love myself, and each of those imperfections is what we call life. None of us are 'perfect', all of us have 'flaws', and the flaws tend to accumulate the older we get, and that's okay. In fact, it dawned on me if what we perceive are 'flaws' aren't flaws at all, they are rather badges of honour, honour that we have been given this life to live, honour that we have made it this far, honour that we have this amazing body to live in that puts up with all of our craziness. Yeah, I think that is a much better way to look at it.
So ladies, stop being so hard on yourself. We are our own worst judges and the reality is, everyone else is feeling the same way about themselves, so let's just all agree to stop, love who we are, try on that damn bikini and rock it at the beach, moon scape and all.
~ Monika xo